We used to rather like John Doyle, the television critic at The Globe and Mail.
Not any more.
In a stunning display of addleheaded cretinism, Doyle has named Sault Ste. Marie's Tanya Kim to his Top Ten list of Most Irritating Canadians on Television.
Kim (shown with bro Richard during a recent visit to the Sault) ranks ninth on Doyle's list.
But in the unkindest stroke of all, the columnist puts Don Cherry in the tenth position.
Sweet Tanya more annoying than Grapes?
What's the old Mop and Pail coming to?
Doyle quite rightly assigns the top Most Irritating Canadian honour to the guy in the Canadian Tire commercials.
And he names other deserving recipients, including Gordon Pape and Ralph Klein.
But other choices suggest that Doyle is a few strokes short of a keyboard on this one.
For example, he gives seventh place to those darling has-been actors in the Ultramatic bed commercials.
Ben Mulroney: cool by association
And the second spot on Doyle's Most Irritating Canadian list is Kim's cohost on CTV's eTalk Daily, Ben Mulroney.
Mulroney, as every Saultite knows, is ubercool because of his association with another Great Canadian. (That's Tanya - you thought we were referring to Ben's creepy Old Man or something?)
Doyle claims his selections are based on input from Globe and Mail readers, but his survey methodology, so far as it's known, leaves ample room for questioning.
"New entries will only be accepted in extraordinary circumstances," he says, "...if someone is really, really funny about a new contender, or if I feel like it."
Right.
According to Doyle, here's what's wrong with Tanya:
"Tanya Kim irritates entire families, including, in one instance, a grandmother. That's just not right."
*********************** Write to John Doyle
To tell John Doyle what a boob he is, please click here.
Here's a handy list of words you might find useful to include in your letter:
ass, blockhead, boob, booby, cretin, dimwit, donkey, dork, dumb ox, dumbbell, dunce, dunderhead, fool, halfwit, ignoramus, imbecile, jackass, jerk, kook, meathead, mental defective, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, pinhead, pointy head, simpleton, stupid, tomfool, twit, yo-yo *********************** Write to Tanya Kim
To reassure Tanya that she's still a hottie, click here.
Here are words you might want to include:
able, acute, alert, alive, all there, apt, astute, brainy, bright, brilliant, calculating, capable, clever, comprehending, creative, deep, discerning, enlightened, exceptional, highbrow, imaginative, ingenious, instructed, inventive, keen, knowing, knowledgeable, original, penetrating, perceptive, perspicacious, profound, quick, quick-witted, rational, ready, reasonable, resourceful, responsible, sage, sharp, smart, thinking, together, understanding, well-informed, whiz, wise, witty