Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of learning 'A Bit About' Sault Ste. Marie’s own Matthew Shoemaker at Scott’s Coffee Co.
I asked him a series of hard-hitting questions and tested his mental agility, using psychological tactics I learned from watching procedural dramas.
His is the first of what will be a series of similar sit-down interviews. The goal with these interviews is to expose the human behind the man, the woman behind the name.
These are their stories.
Mindy: What was the first movie you remember seeing in theaters?
Matthew: Titanic?
Mindy: Oh, really?!
Matthew: Yeah! I think.
Mindy: That’s interesting to me, because my first one was Toy Story and you’re a little older than me.
Matthew: Wait, I think *I* saw Toy Story in theaters.
Mindy: Did I just change your answer for you?
Matthew: I guess so!
Mindy: Excellent. Okay, next question - did you like superheroes growing up and if so, which ones?
Matthew: Yes. Batman.
Mindy: You prefer a Superhero with a messed up childhood, I see. Though I guess they all have that? Spiderman had a rough upbringing.
Matthew: Spiderman for sure had some stuff, his Grandparents helped though.
Mindy: Well, great choice, though I have no deep superhero knowledge to be a judge of that either way.
Matthew: Thank you.
Mindy: Now, you may not feel strongly about either, but - Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
Matthew: Beatles. Of course. Best band ever. In history.
Mindy: Okay, so we have it on record that you are very offended by the audacity of this question.
Matthew: Yes, by the suggestion that The Rolling Stones are even in the same league as The Beatles.
Mindy: If you had to compare your family to a fictional family from a film, television or book, which family would you say best aligns with The Shoemakers?
Matthew: Oh, that’s tricky. Now you’re hitting me with the hard questions. Either the Barones from Everybody Loves Raymond, or…
Mindy: The Sopranos.
Matthew: Um… somewhere in between.
Mindy: So a little more edgy than The Barones but a little less edgy than -
Matthew: Certainly a lot less edgy than The Sopranos.
Mindy: Fair.
Matthew: I’ll say the family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, if they were Italian instead of Greek.
Mindy: Ah, bellissimo.
Mindy: What are your top three favourite shows of all time?
Matthew: The West Wing, Sopranos, The Good Girl, or sorry -
Mindy: The Good Girl? Is that one only available on the really high channels? Does it air at 4 a.m?
Matthew: I meant Gilmore Girls but The Good Place would have been next if there was a fourth option.
Mindy: Of course.
Matthew: Gilmore Girls because of Jenna. She watches it over and over, I’ve seen every episode.
Mindy: It really is that kind of show that you can go back and watch so many times! Also, we don’t have to blame Gilmore Girls on your wife, I think it’s a great show.
Matthew: It is! But I also would not be opposed to you having that Jenna watches it constantly on the record.
Mindy: Okay, I’m just going to put that you support women and hope that covers all bases.
Matthew: Thank you.
Mindy: Now I’d like to do some basic word association. I’ll say a word and you say the first word that comes to mind. We can pretend I’m a psychologist or someone qualified to -
Matthew: Or an interviewer.
Mindy: Yes, we can pretend that also. Are you ready?
Matthew: Yes.
Mindy: 'Jaws'
Matthew: Shark
Mindy: 'Shark'
Matthew: Jaws
Mindy: 'Water'
Matthew: Jaws
Mindy: I apologize, Jaws was on T.V. last night when I was preparing these. Next - 'Dog.'
Matthew: Maple.
Mindy: Aw! Your dog.
Matthew: Of course.
Mindy: 'Wife'
Matthew: Jenna
Mindy: I just wanted an excuse to talk about Jenna again. Next - 'Broadway.'
Matthew: That guy from Bird Cage. David Lane.
Mindy: Nathan Lane? Cute! I was expecting something about Hamilton. Next - 'Despair.'
Matthew: Hmm, I can’t think of one. There’s like a void.
Mindy: Can I put “having a void”?
Matthew: Death?
Mindy: Death works great.
Mindy: Okay, now finish this sentence: 'I can’t make it tonight because I spent all of my money on . . . '
Matthew: William Hearst memorabilia.
Mindy: And Hudson Bay Co. blankets. Next - 'If there’s one thing I know about fashion, it’s…'
Matthew: You never button the top button of a suit. Unless it’s a two-button suit, then you always button the top button.
Mindy: Wow, I’m actually learning a lot today. Alright, next sentence: 'My favorite things in the entire world are . . .'
Matthew: Family. Um, ice cream…
Mindy: I was really just giving another open door to talk about Jenna here.
Matthew: I said family!
Mindy: This is true! She can’t have it all, you know. Family counts.
Mindy: Okay, big question time. Say I have a $10 parking ticket from when I forgot to add change to my parking spot on Queen Street three weeks ago. Where would I go to pay it? I thought City Hall but then my friend said “Don’t forget to pay that at the police station,” and I became worried and confused. Mostly, I just don’t want to have to pay this ticket.
Matthew: Is this an actual question?
Mindy: Yes, I’ve been putting it off as I do most things. Just making sure that there’s no new thing where I have to go to the police station now. It really threw me off.
Matthew: Definitely City Hall.
Mindy: Thank you. But also, I would really, really love to not have to pay this ticket.
Matthew: *silence*
Mindy: And lastly, the most important question I truly ask all people I’m close to because I believe it says a lot about a person - What is your favourite colour?
Matthew: See I can never do this. I can never answer this question. I mean, blue? But why? Why is it blue? I’m probably more of like a red or a green. I honestly think they’re nicer colours!
Mindy: See, blue seems safe because you can never go wrong with blue, but when you actually think about what you like - it can be difficult. This is why I think it’s actually a deeper question than most would assume.
Matthew: Well, I wear a lot of ties and I always prefer a red tie. Always. It goes with black, it goes with brown…
Mindy: I’d assume blue would too though!
Matthew: Not so much with black though.
Mindy: True! It’s like when Steve Martin wore the dark navy suit in Father Of The Bride to match with the black suits and everybody noticed and called him out. Well, leaving off on that not strong note - Matt, it’s been a pleasure chatting and getting to know you better today! Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.
Matthew: Thank you!
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