The following is a submission by Lisa Foggia, mother of Tia Fleming who passed away in November 2020:
It has been one year since I lost my beloved daughter, Tia, to the opioid epidemic.
Less than two weeks after her death, I was sharing her story, recounting some of her experiences that she endured during her process to a better life.
I truly hope a greater awareness has been achieved, so other families don't have to experience this tragic heartbreak.
I have vowed to be her voice for as long as I live; I don't ever want her to be forgotten. The shame and stigma associated with addiction is what kills people. Silence kills people. I am not ashamed of my daughter. I am not ashamed of her story. It is so important that we keep talking, make our voices heard. You are not alone. (There is a Facebook site dedicated to Tia called Remembering Tia.)
Tia was not defined by her addiction. She was a smart, loving, caring and beautiful person, inside and out. So much more needs to happen in our community, as the deaths due to substance abuse continues to rise.
All levels of government are being asked to take action and fight this epidemic. We need seamless healthcare services that help with each stage of recovery. It is too late for my daughter, but it can save the lives of so many others struggling each day, on their own to survive.
Tia had battled addiction throughout her young adult life and fell into the hole. She struggled to stay clean, most of the time on her own. She had made her last attempt at recovery three months before she died.
The chances of relapsing were great, and not uncommon on the road to recovery. As a family, we did all we could to help her avoid it, but addiction is a disease that does not go away. She was feeling better, day after day, but it wasn't meant to be. She had an internal struggle. Part of her wanted to stay on the road to recovery, and part of her wanted to continue to use.
She was a mother to a precious little girl, whom she dearly loved and who loved her. Her daughter continues to search for her, not understanding the finality of her death.
As I think about this past year without Tia, I have realized that my grief will never go away. How could it? It is the worst experience and tragedy of my life. It has had such an emotional and physical impact on me and my life will never be the same. My identity as a woman is tied to my children. That bond will never be broken.
I have also learned this past year that I have an amazing support system, filled with the presence of amazing family and friends, other bereaved parents and phenomenal coworkers. People have offered me their care and compassion and I am grateful and humbled by their love.
I have also learned that in a justice and healthcare system that is broken, there are pockets of people everywhere, who care about improvements and work tirelessly to bring changes for our community.
Tia wanted to give back to the community and continue on with her education, to support others with substance use disorders, but did not get the opportunity to do so. I have committed myself to making a lasting effort to nurture this community, advocate for more resources and to ensure people get the help that they need and deserve.
"It takes a village," powerful words.
I have connected with SOYA, (Saving Our Youth from Prescription Drugs) who make an impact on people's lives every day.
Before Tia passed away, she had mentioned the group to me and said, "If you ever get the chance to help Connie please do it mom. She helps so many people".
Shortly after her death, I did join SOYA, and I realized why Tia loved the group so much.
It is a grassroots team of people, effective in their leadership, their approach, their advocacy, by engaging with people who suffer from this disease. They have a strong will to change the shame and stigma in our community regarding Addiction. They help save lives. I have found a way to make a difference. Tia would be so proud I'm sure!
Every day when I wake up, my faith in God continues to become stronger and stronger.
My faith has kept me grateful for all the good things in my life.
I focus and dedicate myself to creating a better tomorrow, for my loved ones, for my community and I will continue to take part in bringing more services and resources for all of us.
I will fight the good fight, with a good heart, for the love of my daughter.
Dedicated to Tia Alexandra Fleming, Forever 31, Forever Loved.